(trigger warning for sensitive beings)
In times like these, especially in times like these, we need to find our tribe, feel less alone and support each other where we can.
On days when I wake up and feel like I just can’t, I like to look at a survival list that I have stuck up in my cupboard. Maybe you can relate. A handful of the bullet points read something like this:
* so far, I've survived being human, being a child, a teen and an adult, sometimes trying to digest which one I am on any particular day – can you relate?
* eating brussel sprouts at dinner time just so that I could have pudding, I survived that!
* I’ve also survived a few wooden spoons on the bum, it was even broken on my bum one time and even though I thought I was going to die, I survived!
* I also survived my Oumies getting a comb stuck in my naturally kroesie hair as she attempted to get all the knots out every Sunday afternoon!
* I survived being cheeky to my mom - that's pretty brave but I did it and
* I've even survived walking to school rather than die of the embarrassment of getting into any of the old, beautifully restored cars my uncle, with whom I lived at the time, collected.
* hopelessly intoxicated nights, festivals, clubs and raves, substance abuse, somehow I survived that too – can you relate?
* not only have I survived traffic and the taxi's in South Africa but I’ve even survived being on either end of road rage in Johannesburg!
* heartache and heartbreak – isn't it beautiful how we recover from this, I know you can relate!
* I survived pregnancy, child birth, breastfeeding and raising kids, toddler to teens – 3 of them and all 3 are alive, proof that THEY survived so I think I did alright!
Hold the light for a moment as I continue:
I’ve survived being bullied by my school friends which wasn't even given any airtime in those days, you too?
Losing my grandfather, my only father figure, at a young age, I survived that. Can you relate to growing up without your dad?
Painful but I survived missing my mom as she recovered from her struggles. How about you, have you grown up without your mom?
Not being able to cope at school and some days, purposefully getting detention so that I didn’t have to go home. I later discovered that home wasn't even bad but I found a sense of belonging in the chaos with the kids in detention.
I’ve survived being molested as a little girl and I survived the guilt that came with reporting that one because he was an old, old man.
As a teen, I witnessed my boyfriend have his young life taken right before my eyes after which, being brutally raped several times until I experienced my first out of body encounter.
I survived taking him to court and witnessing him being issued a life sentence plus some. I say I survived this because the guilt for sending a man to prison and taking him away from raising his son nearly killed me. There may be few empaths out there who can but I know someone out there can relate.
Years later, I survived coming face to face with my perpetrator so that I could begin the release of harbouring emotions that did not serve me.
I have survived countless toxic relationships with intimate partners, business partners, friends and family and all interesting twists and turns on that rollercoaster – can you relate?
I've survived corporate and some hugely successful times in my sales career and I’ve also survived living day to day, hand to mouth, some days not knowing what we were going to eat until the last minute where there's just been toast and peanut butter...or sometimes just toast, or... just peanut butter.
I survived divorce followed by my kids hating me for walking out of my marriage to their father.
I’ve survived substance abuse and everything that goes with that.
I survived blending families, make ups and break ups, single parenting, moving from house to house multiple times and having to build again from scratch and hey...
I have even survived Corona times and you?
I am a survivor of an autoimmune disease which has brought on several near death experiences. This is what brings me to sharing intimate parts of my life with you because this is where my spiritual activation was boosted.
I spent 2 years in and out of ICU wards and specialists rooms, on ridiculous amounts of schedule 7+ medications as doctors used me as a guinea pig for a disease they knew very little about at the time. I fought for my life and as one can imagine, for my sanity too. Anyone who has been diagnosed with anything will know that it’s shortly followed by a series of other illnesses and disorders as the body screams it's dis-ease at us in a desperate attempt to be heard.
After spending an unhealthy amount of time unable to fully function, without my children around me and very high on all sorts of pharma, it was here, in that chaos, that a deep innerstanding of life, death and everything in between was activated.
Over time, I brought my body, mind and soul into alignment by taking all aspects of my health seriously. I developed a deep respect and strong connection to spirit and all living beings. I learned about the benefits of breathing, meditation and yoga to strengthen my body, which formed a part of my routine before sunrise everyday. I learned the art of discipline in daily gratitude, personal affirmations and setting an intention for my day. I started a plant-based diet, something I never imagined I could...well, because for me bacon, pizzas and burgers...come on guys - until I learned how to make some insane plant based meals and my body loved me for it.
I weaned off of all the medication, a few of which specialists told me I would never be able to live without. I learned to really tune into my senses... sight, sound, smell, touch, taste and intuition and I began to appreciate every element of nature more than ever before which sparked a healthy addiction to the outdoors. Having a healthy addiction to the outdoors has taught me to practice presence and to fully embrace being right where my feet are in every given moment.
In my experience and personal opinion, I believe that all disease, listen to the word, dis-ease is brought on by unresolved trauma, stress and other unhealthy energetic habits.
It's an old school programming and we need to stop brushing trauma and stress under the carpet just because "it's part of life". The dust that's swept under the carpet accumulates and that carpet needs to be lifted so that the dust can be swept up and away.
This life that we bitch and moan about, is a miraculous gift and we should be embracing every precious, f*cking breath and creating unforgettable memories because let's not forget that we come to earth naked and we leave the same.
I have learned in life, that lessons will keep repeating themselves until you've learned them. I'd like to share a few of mine with you:
* My brother, Gregory, once said, "the longest journey we will ever take is from the head to the heart" and since I heard this, I have learned to follow patterns of behaviour and of negative thoughts and distinguish between the voice of ego vs love because if it's not love, it's not real.
* Finding the lesson in absolutely every encounter has become habitual for me.
* I have learned to become curious when I meet somebody. I am interested in what they will teach me, about themselves and about myself too.
* I've also learned not to be quick to judge anybody because even if you have been in their shoes, your experience may have been similar but could never be the same based on childhood conditioning, life experience and other underlying factors.
* I've learned the importance of taking mother and father healing seriously, not just for my own recovery, for both of my parents, but for each of my children, their potential spouses and my future grandchildren.
* I've learned to be transparent so that nobody ever has to wonder where they stand with me. Through this, I've learned to maintain relationships that offer me an equal energy exchange and to release the energies that do not serve me.
* One of my favourite lessons is that, although medication has its place in the world, no meds are more powerful than plants and all the elements offered to us by nature, for free.
* I've learned that a mental illness is merely a symptom of an unresolved trauma which means that if you treat the cause instead of the symptom, you're one step closer to freedom.
* I have learned and strongly believe that mental illnesses are fear based. If we find tools to assist us in coming to terms with the fact that depression is a result of being stuck in the past and anxiety is brought on by fear of the future, neither of which we have any control over, then we can take one step closer to living our best lives, right now, in this moment.
* I have forgiven the shadow workers in my life, on every level, for what some would call unforgivable acts - not because they needed forgiveness but because I needed to forgive so that I could let go and be free of the power of resentment that they held over me.
* Being exposed to substance abuse from a young age, walking my own path and coaching recovering addicts has taught me that substance is not the problem, the person behind the substance is the issue and so if the person behind the substance is treated then the substance should no longer create any problems. It's also about intention. If you use with the intent to escape the stresses, you are creating a life for yourself that you have to escape from.
* When someone has said or done something hurtful, I choose to see that they have done it for me and not to me. This gives me an opportunity to search for, find meaning in and to receive the lesson.
* I have learned that most times, when someone has an outburst, chances are that they are projecting a reflection of how they are feeling, often having very little to do with you, onto you. This is where I learned to identify what's mine and what's someone else's - that is a very powerful lesson and the start of practicing non attachment.
* I've learned that, contrary to most of our childhood conditioning, if we just listen to hear them and not to chip in, children are much older and wiser than they seem and should therefore ALWAYS be seen AND heard. Children are born with a wealth of wisdom - let them teach you.
* Through hypnotherapy, I've learned and continue learning to embrace my inner child, my teen, adult and even the old lady in me some days!
* I've learned that moving house is not the same as moving home because, for me, I am the common denominator and home is an energy that we reflect wherever we are.
* In closing, I would like not to remind you but to reheart you to stay right where your feet are in every moment, practicing presence and as David Ricoh says, to accept the things we cannot change, does not mean to roll over but we roll on."
Rebearth - Booking - should this resonate with you and you feel to chat more about strategies to support you on your journey .